I was so sure of you 👩‍❤️‍👨

For all, I was so sure of you;

I was so sure of you whenever I pictured my future life, it was you who was never out of that picture.

I was so sure of you that I forgot to ask you anything stupid like if you were ever sure of what we had, the relationship, the friendship, the bond which almost seemed perfect to me, to the world. And in all of that, I am sure, I wish if I could have asked you for once, I would've known.

I would have known you got scared, maybe. Maybe because of the sheer certainty I had for you.

But I believe, you didn't even considered me as your friend, ever.

I was hopeful to get the friendship we always had to be the first motion in the little thing going bewith us. But you left me without a note of how our friendship was the one thing we already had gotten out of in that very early stage of ours.

I wish we could have been the best of friends and never the ones with feelings of lovers, because when I wish this, I wish you could have told me your life, your dreams, your 2 am thoughts and your disappointments with the world. And i could've been much better and happier.

I could've been the best of what you'd ever had to ask from a life long friend or a partner.

You parted me in many ways. Time when you didn't let me know what all you'd have gone through. Times when you felt excitement for that first love of your life, the name of whom I never got to know, the kind of love he gave you that I never got to know. All those feelings you had for that very first time when you held his hand.

And now I'm here, in hope to ask you the same when you were with me. Or atleast the time, I thought you were really around.

P. S- Still in a hope to meet you as mine.

तू यार मेरा ❤️

“बेवक़्त अक्सर यूँ ही अपने शब्दों में खो जाता हूँ,
कि अक्सर अपनी क़लम को सीने से जकड़े ही सो जाता हूँ।।”

ख़्वाबों को बाँधकर खुद से जो बुन लेता हूँ चंद कहानियाँ मैं,
नशे में जैसे लीन हो गिन लेता हूँ तेरी परछाइयाँ भी मैं।।

यार नहीं तू, शायद हमदम भी नहीं।
एक सपना है, जो मुकम्मल जाने कब होगा।

की यूँ कह लो एक ख़्याल भर महज़ है,
जिसकी महक आज भी जिस्म पर रह गयी।
नशा भी कम न हुआ जिसका,
की शायद, शायद ये दूरी आज भी चंद फ़ासलो में बह गई।।

तो यूँ कह लें कि सफर है अनजाना सा,
शब्दों को चुन कर चलो एक ढाल बना लेते हैं,
ख़्याल जो सारे बुनकर बैठें हैं,
साथ मिलकर उन्हें सजा लेते है।।

हाँ।।
दूर तो हो तुम मुझसे,
पर इतनी भी नहीं के बुलाने पर आओ भी ना।।

बस एक ख्वाइश है जो अब बाकी है मेरी।
तेरी सूरत ओर सीरत का दीदार कर लेने दे।

बस एक आख़िरी,
एक आख़िरी बार खुद से ये सवाल कर लेने दे।

कल तू साथ होगी भी या नहीं,
मुझे आज ये ख़्वाब जी लेने दे।।

एक बार तुझसे उसी ख़्याल सा बन प्यार कर लेने दे,
की एक बार तो मुझे,
तुझे अपना यार कह लेने दे।।

I'm lost

Seriously, I don't have time for this.

I don't have time to think about us;
I don't have time to play and carefully
put the words into right direction,
so that you can understand what
I want to tell you for so long,
screaming my guts out.

I don't have the time to be just a talking puppet
you considered long gone and shredded off your mind.

Don't want my name to get involved in anything that
relates even a slight measure of you in it.

Seriously, I just want to get over you.
But in doing so,
I don't want my sufferings to be lost in oblivion.

I want you to remember them right in front
of your eyes everytime you close them.
I want you to remember them in the slightest
escape of Deja Vu while I stand a long way from you.
I want you to see the world
through my eyes once in for all.

So that you could know,
How in the world,
just the thought of you made me degrade,
Emotion by emotion, Inch by inch,
All the way down to where I am.
Forgotten and now, lost.

Enough of this little game

Seriously, I never thought this thing,
between us, was ever gonna fail.
Thought of it more as a thing bewith us, to hail.

I suppose it would have become better with time.
Though it's not like it was wine,
All bounded with compassion and rage.
Better, the more it's aged.

But still, this thing between us,
was the least of thing that ever had
any chance to mark an end.
Guess few rocks don't have a
beginning so to become sand.

The scars on the soul,
Burning infernos to join,
The dying wish of a coal.
Oh that's me!
The poor child,
All set up to cry.
No hope and no liveliness pry.

And know what,
My guts told me, "don't you fall",
You won't be spared.
And I was scared.
Didn't knew it would burst.
Wanna know, Why this thrust?
I had a trust, but not anymore.
Though I did happen to believe you to the core.

Again, What was I thinking?
So, it's all past now.
I grew up.

With time, I knew "This thing" needed an end.
Probably, I now have too much of errands.

Maybe, this fault was all mine.
So, I take the blame.
Please shut down this flame.
Enough of this little game.

Will you be my, "True Friend?"

You don't know how lonely it gets when I don't talk to someone.
Though it seems like I don't really talk much.
But, Trust me.
I do. I do love talking to those 'someones', I feel I've the only right to.

But it's just one of my mistake to feel it that way.
One of the many flaws I hold and wanna take away .

Though this phrase depicts everyone I've known or have been friends with. Especially for the ones I've shared few of my best moments, ummm ..that's it.

The long times, I must say have been too short practically.
They say, “You don't need years or months or even weeks to know a person he/she is exactly”.

Is that true? Yeah, maybe it is.

I've known you to some extent in these few days and that's more than I've ever known,
anyone else so close.

Simply because....

“You.. you came at a moment when all doors to internal peace for me were closed.

You, you lit up those wonderful events inside this heart and made me thoughtful of what I could have stopped by at,
if it weren't you who came and knocked.

The face isn't the impression I had of, the smile is what really amazed me when you squeezed it gently through your cheeks to your lips.

You, your eyes gave a slight glimpse of
What I can say our future could be.
Hah. Just a thought that would provoke you.. So, for now.. just leave it...

But I do believe, it won't go waste wondering about our past and would make our times more heavy, or happy, or sappy.

You, I believe are my hope that has emerged from that small and fog covered sky of mine, which I feared was going to take away my sunshine.

I hope I don't make more mistakes by just falling in love without my own conscience.

I just hope this whole phrase don't sound unworthy irrespective of what I know is, it doesn't sound rhymes.

Let's be it like the best friends that have known or have been with each others since long time,
Let's make it like a relationship more of two best friends giving together a chance to fight their own insights.

I know you hate the trendy concept of “BFF's or BF”.
But, Will you be my “True Friend”?

उम्मीद अभी बाकी है़…

हमारे टूटे सपनो ने, 

हमें जीना सिखा दिया;

लोग तो बहुत देखे हमने, 

पर आज इन बिखरे अरमानो ने, 

लोगों की कड़वाहट को पीना सिखा दिया। 

यूँ तो हम हमेशा मुस्कुराते हैं, 

पर हज़ारों दर्द छिपे हैं इस मुस्कान में, 

अब आलम ये है, 

कि ज़ख्म तो काफ़ी हैं, 

पर उन्हें बखूबी छिपाता हूँ, 

यही तो खूबी है, 

बिखरे हुए इंसान में।

पर उम्मीद अभी बाकी है, 

गिर कर फिर उठूंगा भले ही, 

उठ कर फिर गिर जाऊ; 

क्योकि गिरने पर तकलीफ ज़रूर होती है;

पर ठोकर ही इंसान को चलना सिखाती है; 

आखिर में वह शाम ही है,

जो सूरज को ढलना सिखाती है। 

नादाँ है वो लोग, 

जो लहरों की ख़ामोशी को समुन्दर की बेबसी समझते हैं, 

जितना गहरा समुन्दर, 

उतना ही तूफ़ान अभी बाकी है;

खोल दे मेरे पंख ए ग़ालिब, 

मेरी उड़ान अभी बाकी है, 

ये मंज़िल नहीं है मेरी, 

पूरा का पूरा आसमान अभी बाकी है।

The Skit

Racing through a soul,

To a soul of yours that seems to depart.

Rising besides the fate,

Leaving what could have been my sweet-cinnamon tart.

Seems too uneasy to give up,

The love that showered on the fountains of eternity once.

Thought and bought and fought,

The inner peace, I’ve finally lost.

Burning desires, evil-minded liars..

All the ideas of being with her.

Let it all be dumped-bumped-stumped.

To the secret sniggling,

To the new beginning.

But No, This isn't what I waited for so long..

Hear this...

Majorly and thoroughly,

wanna announce this now.

No matter how much she try to be another man’s vow,

I still won’t let her go.

You read it right.

I won’t just let her pass through the million dreams I once dreamed of,

Won’t let her cease the thousand fake promises this heart certainly breached for.

No matter how far she resists she has been.

I’ll reach her in my interest that has been too keen.

Coz, I know she is worth the wait.

Coz, I know she is my heart’s perfect mouthwatering bait.

No matter what negative sides,

Or maybe the whole other opposite signs,

It may bound me with.

I have got her in my dreams to live with.

And that’s more than a happy ending to narrate a mellow drama skit.